Michael Bay is evil

Worst movie. EVER!

Well, perhaps not ever, but really awful anyway, and actually pretty offensive on a number of levels.

The movie of course is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Now, I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan of Transformers in general, but I am a fan of a bit of CG popcorn and I was willing to swallow my vague distaste for a movie based not on a story, but a merchandising proposition, because, hey, if Pirates of the Caribbean (1) could make a fun movie out of a theme park ride, heck, anything is possible!

This film however was so busy pandering to US military "awesomeness" that the Transformers themselves hardly got a look-in. From Predators to F22s, the US hardware got a lot more air-time than Optimus Prime. Virtually all the supporting cast are military, the US army controls the alien robots on humanity’s behalf (I mean who else can you trust?), and the soldiers are all dashing, bright and loyal – and of course all male.

But at least they're doing stuff. The girls don't do jack - and they come in some eerily familiar packages: the sex-kitten girlfriend, the nympho temptress, the ditzy mother and finally, the drones who direct technical operations back in the safety of army HQ (plain girls ...obviously).

But wait – there was one other female, and if you blink you’ll miss her – a female Transformer! It was all over very fast – because she appears in a blur of action and then is shot (Bay really doesn't like women, does he?), but unless I’m very much mistaken I think she was even... pink!

Meanwhile, Obama is gently put in his place as well. He is named, or flashed on screen on a number of occasions, but mostly sneered at in the guise of the interfering bureaucrat that he’s appointed, and also for a Presidential Order that puts our heroes in danger. I guess Bay’s a republican.

So apart from working on recruitment for the US’s trillion dollar military industry, vaguely advocating further adventurism in Iraq (the US is just plain needed there), trying to sell cars for GM, and seething with dislike for women, what exactly did this film have going for it? Well, the CG is sometimes beautiful, buuuuut if you want good CG - go to Terminator 4.

This movie is evil.